Today I faced the facts: if I want to get through the holiday season with a modicum of self-respect, I need a pair of fat man pants. It does no good for me to keep squeezing myself into clothes that don’t fit. I’m not fooling anyone, least of all myself. I look like a fat man in clothes two sizes too small. If instead I would wear clothes that fit, I’d at least look like a fat man who was comfortable in his own skin.
Though I plan to begin my fitness program on January 1st, I’ll attend many social events before then. I’ll go to dinner parties. I’ll make sales calls. I’ll meet with colleagues. I cannot continue to dress the way I have been.
When I left the house yesterday, Kris made me put on a sweater. “You can’t go out like that,” she said, referring to my long-sleeve shirt over t-shirt combo. To my mind, this helps hide my weight. “When you wear a sweater, you look like a fat man. But when you wear your shirt untucked like that, you look like a fat man who is a slob.”
I bit the bullet: I spent $40 on two pairs of fat man pants from Costco. I had vowed never to buy pants this big, but now I have. (And after trying them on, I have to admit that even they are a size too small.)
Now I will have something nice to wear during the holiday season. And if I only wear these pants for a month or two, I don’t care. It’ll be $40 well-spent.
But the entire experience has made me think that I should move my plans up by a fortnight. Maybe I should begin focusing on fitness now instead of at the first of the year…